Dear Karen, I suspect I feel as compelled to write as Cindi did, and for the opposite reason. Your writing is honest - full stop. It is your experience, and I have enjoyed, learned from, and cheered in response to a number of your offerings. I'm sorry to have missed whatever you would have written last week, and I look forward to what comes in the future. You may not have given birth, but you have clearly done way more mothering than many, especially those who have the time to write maliciously ignorant notes to someone they have never met.
Whew, Cindi, really? So much effort for such a bizarre attempt at a takedown. For the record, Karen, I love how respectful you are of your kids by sharing only your stories and keeping them basically anonymous. That’s treating them like individuals more than any “empathetic” story could ever do. And don’t get me started on grammar police (which I say as a grammar nerd). Anyway, just one more hand raised over here for you to keep writing
I'm so glad you've noticed that effort -- anonymizing as much as I can and trying to make sure it's centered on me (as narcissistic as that might be) and ensuring everything I say here is something I would say to their faces (which is a big filter on its own!)
Sounds like maybe Cindi could have used a stepmom like you. Keep going. The world needs fewer wicked stepmom narratives and more women like you trying to bring perspective to an experience that no woman ever grows up dreaming about. It’s damn hard, unappreciated work. Thank you for saying what so many have felt.(Your grammar is impeccable, btw.)
"You are not, and never will be, their parent". And that is a gift those who are biological parents will never understand. My dad died when I was four, and my stepdad (Japanese to my red headed self and younger brother) chose to love me as his own. In fact, he was the one in my family who saw me the most. And fast forward 25+ years into my relationship with Pam and her four kids, I will never be their parent. And I am so much more to them. And they to me. We have a connection and family ties, and there is also that special space that is indescribable and honest. Mom is mom, Teri, Twoie, Grammy T, T, Terista (pick a name from a list they've given me in love) holds a deep love and a little healthy distance when needed most. I see you my friend. Take up all the space you need and keep sharing. Thanks Cindi, for pointing out the obvious, and missing the E-N-T-I-R-E point.
Dear Karen, I suspect I feel as compelled to write as Cindi did, and for the opposite reason. Your writing is honest - full stop. It is your experience, and I have enjoyed, learned from, and cheered in response to a number of your offerings. I'm sorry to have missed whatever you would have written last week, and I look forward to what comes in the future. You may not have given birth, but you have clearly done way more mothering than many, especially those who have the time to write maliciously ignorant notes to someone they have never met.
Dear Karen, I suspect I feel as compelled to write as Cindi did, and for the opposite reason. Your writing is honest - full stop. It is your experience, and I have enjoyed, learned from, and cheered in response to a number of your offerings. I'm sorry to have missed whatever you would have written last week, and I look forward to what comes in the future. You may not have given birth, but you have clearly done way more mothering than many, especially those who have the time to write maliciously ignorant notes to someone they have never met.
Thank you so much. I teared up a little reading this and so appreciate your kind words and support!
Whew, Cindi, really? So much effort for such a bizarre attempt at a takedown. For the record, Karen, I love how respectful you are of your kids by sharing only your stories and keeping them basically anonymous. That’s treating them like individuals more than any “empathetic” story could ever do. And don’t get me started on grammar police (which I say as a grammar nerd). Anyway, just one more hand raised over here for you to keep writing
I'm so glad you've noticed that effort -- anonymizing as much as I can and trying to make sure it's centered on me (as narcissistic as that might be) and ensuring everything I say here is something I would say to their faces (which is a big filter on its own!)
Sounds like maybe Cindi could have used a stepmom like you. Keep going. The world needs fewer wicked stepmom narratives and more women like you trying to bring perspective to an experience that no woman ever grows up dreaming about. It’s damn hard, unappreciated work. Thank you for saying what so many have felt.(Your grammar is impeccable, btw.)
Thank you so much for this — including the grammar aside!
In a world of Cindis, be a Karen. You're okay, Doak. 👍🏻
Block this person. You do not owe them anything and you don’t have to try to adjust your life or your writing to please a troll.
She’s blocked!!
"You are not, and never will be, their parent". And that is a gift those who are biological parents will never understand. My dad died when I was four, and my stepdad (Japanese to my red headed self and younger brother) chose to love me as his own. In fact, he was the one in my family who saw me the most. And fast forward 25+ years into my relationship with Pam and her four kids, I will never be their parent. And I am so much more to them. And they to me. We have a connection and family ties, and there is also that special space that is indescribable and honest. Mom is mom, Teri, Twoie, Grammy T, T, Terista (pick a name from a list they've given me in love) holds a deep love and a little healthy distance when needed most. I see you my friend. Take up all the space you need and keep sharing. Thanks Cindi, for pointing out the obvious, and missing the E-N-T-I-R-E point.
ENTIRE point! 💜 you!
Dear Karen, I suspect I feel as compelled to write as Cindi did, and for the opposite reason. Your writing is honest - full stop. It is your experience, and I have enjoyed, learned from, and cheered in response to a number of your offerings. I'm sorry to have missed whatever you would have written last week, and I look forward to what comes in the future. You may not have given birth, but you have clearly done way more mothering than many, especially those who have the time to write maliciously ignorant notes to someone they have never met.